'Have A Super Day'

Today I went food shopping. I got my bananas and yogurt and while I am on line waiting to check out I hear someone shout "Hey, it's have a super day!!!" I look and the lady in front of me is smiling and waving. This lady just so happened to be my favorite customer from when I worked at the bakery. Me, Jessica, have a favorite customer? Ha. Yes, even though it is true that I was not fond of the majority of customers who walked into that bakery, I did enjoy this one very much.

This customer calls me "super day" b/c there was a point my life where I was OBSESSED with the word "super". And so, at the end of helping a customer I would say "have a super day!" Although my "super" phase went on for quite a bit of time, it provoked a lot of thought in me when I saw that this woman remembered me as telling people "have a super day" b/c toward the end of my bakery career, I was crying during most of my shifts. Despite how miserable I had become, this customer still remembered me as some silly, fun, bubbly girl who told people to "have a super day".

By the time I had stopped working at the bakery, it had become an extremely negative place for me. In fact, extremely negative may be an understatement. I stopped working there around this time last year and I believe I started working there when I was in 11th grade. Looking back on it now, it's hard to think that at one point, I LOVED the bakery-- it's hard to think that there was a time when this bakery was my "safe" place. It was though.

Now it's difficult b/c I can remember when I first started working at the bakery I was told things like "you are the happiest person I've ever met." At the same time, I was struggling with a disastrous home life and a lot of negative behaviors and so I started wondering, how am I looking back on this time thinking I was happy, when there was so much negativity in my life? I started to think, was all that happiness I felt the first year or so I worked at the bakery fake? Well, no. It was far from fake. It wasn't an act b/c when I was at the bakery during my high school years, I genuinely was happy. I went to the bakery to find happiness.

Now-a-days, I find happiness from within. And at the same time, running into a customer I haven't seen in years and having her tell me to "never change" brought me a lot of happiness in that moment. It was enjoyable hearing about my "bubbly self" again b/c I have definitely lost sight of her over the years.

I have concluded that maybe what I need to do is find the part of my high school self who cultivated happiness through the bakery, and apply it to all areas of my life. Just like I am the same person whether I am at SLS or at home, I was the same person whether I was at the bakery or anywhere else. Consequently, it doesn't matter where I am-- in the end, it is not a place that aids my happiness. I can be happy because I choose to be happy.