'Right' Or 'Wrong'?

I have been spending a lot of time formulating my own beliefs about different aspects of my life, as well as of myself. While I have grown confident in most of these beliefs, I find that when someone else says something that does not agree with the belief I composed, I become very anxious. I start questioning who's perception is "right" and who's perception is "wrong" and I begin to feel as if I need to listen to what the other person is saying because I, of course, would not be the one to have an accurate perception.

Although I have many beliefs that differ from others', I've come to notice that what I appear to struggle most with is all the different views everyone has about food. I have always had an idea in my head about how I wanted to reject diet mentality all together. I often thought about how I wanted to be a mindful eater-- eating what I want, when I wanted, in moderation. Despite my efforts to demonstrate this kind of relationship with food, I was continuously unsuccessful. However, these past 6 months have really allowed me to explore the relationship I share with food. I have come to view food as what I need to fuel my body and let go of any "good" or "bad" judgments that are often placed on food. Too much or too little of anything is not beneficial to anyone, and so, why label a food "good" or "bad" when as long as it is eaten in moderation, no damage will be done either way.

I acquired confidence in this lifestyle and began living in a way I had so often longed to live. However, hearing others having the kind of relationship with food that I worked so hard to escape, led me to begin questioning who's views were in the wrong. The first time I experienced eating with a person who viewed food in a way that was completely opposite from my new found beliefs, I nearly fell apart. I began doubting the effectiveness of intuitive eating and was losing the trust I gained in food, as well as in my body. After speaking with Kristen, someone who has very much so been a part of me developing the healthy relationship I now share with food, I was able to catch enough of a glimpse of my wise mind, to find my way back to being certain in my own beliefs regarding food.

Now, my dad has a tendency to comment on everything anyone eats, staring intensely at the person while they eat. I have experienced this scenario on several occasions with him since I've been home, and today, things came to a head. I quickly dove into emotion mind, deciding that I would never be caught even looking at food again for as long as I live. I came into my room, hysterically crying, headed straight toward a path that would allow me to self-destruct.

After a few minutes of being willful and miserable, I came across a card Kristen gave me upon discharge. Initially, I felt worse because this person who helped instill in me beliefs about food that were effective for me, was no longer able to serve a role that would help me re-discover the certainty I once had in these beliefs. Once I read the card, it was things like "you are in control", "counter-thoughts", "whole-self" and "wise-minded choices", that allowed me to take a step back from my emotion mind and recognize that I don't have to destroy the relationship I share with food because of a man who views food differently than I. As I thought about how I can choose how I allow my father's comments to effect me, I questioned how I was going to conquer this dilemma without Kristen. I was not convinced I could capture the certainty I once had in myself, and so, I transferred the certainty I have in Kristen to myself and in the process, realized that while it may have been Kristen's purpose to light the path for me, it was my purpose to follow it.

I decided that I am no longer a person who sabotages herself, and so, I chose to be skillful and take an ice cold shower, trusting that would inch me closer to my wise mind. I was right. By the end of my shower, I was reunited with the person in me who embraced her healthy relationship with food.

From this I have concluded that there is no "right" or "wrong" until someone places judgment on a situation and declares it that way. And even when that is done, everyone is going to judge the situation differently, leaving the meaning of the situation open for interpretation. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is no such thing as a "right" or "wrong" belief. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and I believe that as long as an individual's belief is working for them, it doesn't matter who agrees or disagrees. If the belief a person forms is effective for them and the life they live, than no one serves the right to judge it "good", "bad", "right", or "wrong".

I am my own person and I form my own beliefs. If someone has an outlook that differs from my own, I can accept their perception without swaying from my view. My beliefs do not need to change because they don't match a belief that belongs to someone else. I can trust myself enough to know that my beliefs are effective for me without getting upset, anxious, and ambivalent when I share a difference of opinion with someone.