"There comes a time in every life when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn to know the sound of it. Otherwise, you'll never understand what it is saying." -Sarah Dessen
I have noticed how sometimes I feel as if I have too many people in my life and then at other times feel as if I have no one in my life. I recognize that is black-and-white thinking, and at the same time, I'm not sure how to go about finding the middle ground in this situation. I have been working hard on the whole "out of sight out of mind concept" and I think I am truly coming to realize, as well as understand, that I don't have to talk to a person every single day to know that they are still a part of my life. However, even with that knowledge, I still find myself bouncing back and forth to each extreme. From this thought I have decided that I need to focus less on the people in my life and more so on myself, in my own life.
There is not one person who can be labeled as a permanent aspect of my life- or of anyone's life for that matter. The only one who can be considered a certainty in my life is me. That being said, I think it is important for me to understand myself because I am the only one who is 100% guaranteed to be in my life. Therefore, I need to learn how to assure and guide myself without assistance. While I do not think it is negative to reach out and ask for help when needed, I just don't find it effective to rely completely on another human being. We all need someone to lean on, and at the same time, we don't have to lose our sense of self and capabilities in the process.
I have spent a significant portion of my life depending on others to tell me how to think, how to feel, and how to cope. Maybe not in every single situation, but for a majority of occasions, I have found that I wouldn't even formulate my own opinion- I would just wait for someone who I regarded higher than myself to state their thoughts and then I would agree. Even when I did have my own thoughts and feelings, if they didn't match the beliefs of the person I was interacting with, I dismissed my own for theirs.
Today I am in a place where I listen to myself. I listen to others as well, but I make sure that I hear myself before I welcome others' beliefs. Initially, that was extremely difficult to do. Mainly because I didn't know myself. Consequently, how could I even begin to understand what I was thinking and feeling? Now I am in touch with my feelings. I have a sense of self and purpose that allows me to embrace what I think, what I feel, and who I am.
I once had a therapist who used to say to me "How do you feel in your heart? What is your heart telling you?" Even though I only worked with this therapist for a very short period of time, I think that her posing that question is what inspired me to take the initiative to embark on the journey of self-discovery. The journey of self-discovery is what has allowed me to be confident in what my heart is telling me. This quote reminds me of that.
There is not one person who can be labeled as a permanent aspect of my life- or of anyone's life for that matter. The only one who can be considered a certainty in my life is me. That being said, I think it is important for me to understand myself because I am the only one who is 100% guaranteed to be in my life. Therefore, I need to learn how to assure and guide myself without assistance. While I do not think it is negative to reach out and ask for help when needed, I just don't find it effective to rely completely on another human being. We all need someone to lean on, and at the same time, we don't have to lose our sense of self and capabilities in the process.
I have spent a significant portion of my life depending on others to tell me how to think, how to feel, and how to cope. Maybe not in every single situation, but for a majority of occasions, I have found that I wouldn't even formulate my own opinion- I would just wait for someone who I regarded higher than myself to state their thoughts and then I would agree. Even when I did have my own thoughts and feelings, if they didn't match the beliefs of the person I was interacting with, I dismissed my own for theirs.
Today I am in a place where I listen to myself. I listen to others as well, but I make sure that I hear myself before I welcome others' beliefs. Initially, that was extremely difficult to do. Mainly because I didn't know myself. Consequently, how could I even begin to understand what I was thinking and feeling? Now I am in touch with my feelings. I have a sense of self and purpose that allows me to embrace what I think, what I feel, and who I am.
I once had a therapist who used to say to me "How do you feel in your heart? What is your heart telling you?" Even though I only worked with this therapist for a very short period of time, I think that her posing that question is what inspired me to take the initiative to embark on the journey of self-discovery. The journey of self-discovery is what has allowed me to be confident in what my heart is telling me. This quote reminds me of that.
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