"The less you think about how other people see you, the more clearly you come to see yourself. If you can do that- even touch the outer edge of it while standing on your toes- we think you can do anything at all." -Amy Wilensky
This quote is from a memoir titled THE WEIGHT OF IT by Amy Wilensky. I think I read this memoir when I was about 15 years old, so while I remember the general concept of the memoir, I don't remember many details. I found that I would read this quote to myself throughout my high school years, and when I just recently re-discovered it, I realized how ideal it was for this period in my life as well. Actually, I think this quote can really match any chapter of a person's life.
I find myself sometimes acting as someone perceives and/or expects me to act. That is an aspect of myself I am trying to change. While I am definitely getting better at it, I do notice that it is something I still have a tendency of doing. I definitely think it's okay to be open to other people's perceptions, and if one finds it to be valid, make some changes. However, to dismiss my own feelings for no other reason except that they are different from someone else, well, that's just not effective.
One particular situation I am thinking of is how old I look and how old I actually am. I am 22, almost 23 years old, and people always view me as younger. And maybe that isn't always negative and it may not even always matter. The issue for me really comes into play when I hear someone tell me I look, say, 17, because then I start to act younger. I act the age I am being perceived, not the age I actually am.
At my job, I work with some people who are a couple of years younger than me and even though it's only a couple of years, I look at them as older than me, but I am older than them. When I reveal my age, they usually respond by saying something like "You look younger than me." I have to start looking at those statements for what they are- statements. No matter how old I look, I am still 22 years old. That is the fact of the matter. I cannot allow perceptions of others to dictate the way I behave.
That's why I believe this quote to be important. When I spend time focusing on how other people see me, I lose sight of myself. No one knows me better than me. Consequently, my vision of myself becomes blurred when I listen to what other people say and/or think of me. I guess that isn't always the case because it is sometimes beneficial to get an outsider's outlook on something in order to gain some insight into a behavior. However, it becomes problematic when it isn't done in a way to problem solve a particular situation.
Because I am told so often that I look younger than I am, upon meeting someone, I always have the immediate thought that they will think I am younger. So, now, while people still tell me I look younger than them, I am having these thoughts before they even open their mouth because I expect it. That's why I think it is so necessary that I stop paying attention to what other people may think of me and work on the perception of myself. When I do that, I find that I act more confidently and more like my age. I may still appear young, but I have noticed that my mannerisms come across as much more mature when I focus on who I am, not on who others think I am.
I find myself sometimes acting as someone perceives and/or expects me to act. That is an aspect of myself I am trying to change. While I am definitely getting better at it, I do notice that it is something I still have a tendency of doing. I definitely think it's okay to be open to other people's perceptions, and if one finds it to be valid, make some changes. However, to dismiss my own feelings for no other reason except that they are different from someone else, well, that's just not effective.
One particular situation I am thinking of is how old I look and how old I actually am. I am 22, almost 23 years old, and people always view me as younger. And maybe that isn't always negative and it may not even always matter. The issue for me really comes into play when I hear someone tell me I look, say, 17, because then I start to act younger. I act the age I am being perceived, not the age I actually am.
At my job, I work with some people who are a couple of years younger than me and even though it's only a couple of years, I look at them as older than me, but I am older than them. When I reveal my age, they usually respond by saying something like "You look younger than me." I have to start looking at those statements for what they are- statements. No matter how old I look, I am still 22 years old. That is the fact of the matter. I cannot allow perceptions of others to dictate the way I behave.
That's why I believe this quote to be important. When I spend time focusing on how other people see me, I lose sight of myself. No one knows me better than me. Consequently, my vision of myself becomes blurred when I listen to what other people say and/or think of me. I guess that isn't always the case because it is sometimes beneficial to get an outsider's outlook on something in order to gain some insight into a behavior. However, it becomes problematic when it isn't done in a way to problem solve a particular situation.
Because I am told so often that I look younger than I am, upon meeting someone, I always have the immediate thought that they will think I am younger. So, now, while people still tell me I look younger than them, I am having these thoughts before they even open their mouth because I expect it. That's why I think it is so necessary that I stop paying attention to what other people may think of me and work on the perception of myself. When I do that, I find that I act more confidently and more like my age. I may still appear young, but I have noticed that my mannerisms come across as much more mature when I focus on who I am, not on who others think I am.
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