Rejecting Diet Mentality

Food has been quite the struggle for me lately. In a society that is dominated by diets and food and body distortions, it can be so difficult to maintain a healthy, balanced relationship with food. I do not want to be the person who fears food and feeds into fad diets. I do not want to be the young woman who highlights every flaw in her body while looking the mirror. I do not want to be consumed by calories and I do not want to feel guilty for eating a so-called "bad" food. While I recognize that every day, every moment of every single day, I have the choice to rise above these distortions, make healthy food choices, and honor my hunger and fullness cues, it can be so hard when bombarded by diet mentality.

I have struggled with food and weight my whole life and, about a year ago, I was finally able to conquer my ineffective and irrational thoughts regarding food and my body. When I started befriending food and respecting my body, I noticed how I started to feel more comfortable in my body and watched my weight begin to even out. I loved making food choices that fulfilled the daily requirements for fruits, vegetables, grains, etc, as well as being able to eat foods I would normally beat myself up for eatting (cookies, cupcakes, icecream, etc) mindfully. I loved challenging myself with foods I once considered "bad" because I had gained trust in my body, in myself, and was certain that I could eat when I was hungry and stop when I was full. I gave myself permission to eat whatever it was I wanted, when I wanted it, and watched with my own two eyes as my problem behaviors surrounding food slowly disappeared. I cannot begin to express how saddened I have been lately to think about how much of the "intuitive eater" inside of me has been lost to the society in which we live. I try so hard to fight back, but constantly being challenged by food and body distortions is wearing me out.

I have no right to blame a diet or a person's comment about eating a "bad" food for my conflicting feelings toward food because at the end of the day, I have the choice to reject diet mentality and be an intuitive eater, but some times, it is just so damn hard. I recognize that avoiding diets and food/body distortions in general is inevitable, and so, I have been striving to concoct a way for me to rekindle the trust I once had in my body. When I re-learned how to eat and trust my body, I had so much support and assistance surrounding this issue. I certainly do still have a support system, but I do not always have someone to eat with me and help me cook and make meals. I do not have someone who is constantly reminding me of my goals and how important it is for me to have a healthy relationship with food.

Instead of getting down about my decreased support surrounding food, I have decided to look at this as an opportunity for me to cheerlead myself. I have decided that this is my chance to hear my own voice and to believe in what it is saying. I know that intuitive eating is effective because I was an intuitive eater for quite sometime and I watched it work for me. I worked too hard to defeat the food police (so to speak) and its time I start to refuse to let them slither their way back into my mind.

One thing I have been reminding myself of is that perhaps I just have different goals than the people around me and that is why our life styles don't match up. There is no right way to live one's life-- whatever is effective for that particular person, is what is right for them. This may be an assumption, but I think the majority people who are dieting are dieting to lose weight. Although I am still looking to lose weight, weight loss isn't my only goal in this situation. I want to lose weight. I want to feel and be healthy. However, I also do not want to fear food. I want to control my food choices- I don't want my food choices to control me.

Despite how difficult this has been for me recently, I am confident I can re discover the woman within me listens to and trusts her body. I am confident I can challenge the food and body distortions that surround me by practicing intuitive eating. This is not something I will give up on, especially since it is something I have spent the last 2 years of my life trying to achieve. I will get there again. I know I will. So what if my voice regarding this issue feels like a whisper in comparison to the voices around me... the whisper of my voice provides me with the opportunity to trust in what  I know to be effective for me, even though every one else may be shouting something different.