Building Mastery

In class the other day, my Professor went around the classroom and had everyone of us name one thing we are good at. Most people refused to give an answer, claiming they weren't good at anything. Some used the phrase "um" a lot before stating theirs and others made statements like "I guess I'm good at..." Tonight I was faced with a similar situation- I was with a group of people and we were asked if we could name one thing that allows us to feel competent and masterful. The room went silent.

Is this because none of us are good at anything? Definitely not. We all have at least one thing that we have accomplished- we all feel proud after completing at least one sort of task. Why is it that so many of us are quick to point out our flaws, but so hesitant to say something we're good at? It is so easy for us to rattle off things we are "bad" at, yet when it comes to sharing something we do proudly and effectively, most of us become quite timid.

I remember when I was a senior in high school, and applying to colleges, I had to make a "brag list." I literally cried because at that time, I truly believed that there was nothing positive to say about myself, and so, I went to my former English teacher, who actually wrote the "brag list" for me. After some of my more remarkable characteristics were pointed out to me, even though I was able to recognize the information on the list as impressive, I couldn't bring myself to say out loud "I do this well." However, if I had to speak of my negative qualities, well, I'd be able to speak for days.

I'm not sure if our culture frowns upon those who assert their admirable traits, and therefore, most of us are reluctant to share them. I bet we are all acquainted with at least one arrogant person who irritates the crap out of us. I'm not saying we need to become pompous, egotistical people. I'm just saying that I don't see the negativity in showing pride in one's abilities. Like everything else in life, I think there needs to be a balance, a dialectic if you will. We can acknowledge our imperfections AND we can acknowledge our abilities. Imperfections are inevitable, but that doesn't mean we have to let them hinder us. If we don't place any emphasis on the remarkable, we are sure to lose sight of it, allowing our flaws to conquer us.

While one person cannot do everything, one person can certainly do something. That something is what we need to entertain because without that something, we cannot build upon our sense of self and purpose. Perhaps we all need to become more mindful of our feelings while participating in our regular, day-to-day tasks.

What do you enjoy doing?
What makes you feel proud?
What have you accomplished throughout your day?
What did you do that you thought you couldn't do?
What can you do now that you couldn't do a year ago?
What do other people compliment you on?

Take some time to answer these questions. Then try shouting the answers from the rooftops.